Mothers Say the Darndest Things

Day 51 | $31,450 paid | $59,267 till freedom

Excerpts from a phone call with my mom on Sunday:

Mom: Are you dating anyone?
Me: Not really. I can’t really afford it.
Mom: Yeah, girls don’t like cheapskate guys.

Mom: Your grandma’s still really sharp.
Me: Oh, really?
Mom: Yeah, she reminded me about a picture she wanted me to bring her.
Me: Of what?
Mom: Me standing next to your dad’s Ferrari.
Me: And you forgot it?
Mom: Yeah–a  couple of pictures, actually. I went to my high school reunion last weekend and I brought a picture of you and Mary.
Me: To show them your kids?
Mom: Yeah, and because you went to Harvard and because your sister also got her MBA.
Me: Oh…
Mom: I’m really proud of you guys!
Me: Ah, okay. How does the Ferrari pic play into all of this?
Mom: Well, I brought that to the reunion, too.
Me: What? Why?
Mom: Because it’s a cool car and I was wearing a cute outfit.

Me: I paid, like, $350 to fly out to Detroit so I can go to <my cousin’s> wedding. Do I really have to get her a gift, too?
Mom: You’re a Harvard graduate and you have a great job. Yes, you have to get your cousin a gift.
Me: Yeah, but I’m cutting back in every single area of my life, and I think she should just appreciate the fact that I’m flying out to see her. 
Mom: You have to give her a gift.
Me: How much?
Mom: At least $50.

I’m intentionally not going to comment on these exchanges because any commentary I have would only lead to an argument between my mother and me.